On bullying

Unfortunately too many people know of the pain of being bullied.  One person I worked with really bring it home to me how much bullying can ruin a person's life.

This person was a teenager when I met him.  It stood out to me that he was a kid who had a really good heart.  From the what he talked about I could tell he wanted to do things that would make other peoples lives better, and he also very often looked to do the right thing.  One thing that really hurt this guy was that he had so many bad experiences with bullies.  He told me that he had friend who betrayed him, and started to bully him, and he even teachers who bullied him because of his disability (which he couldn't help).  I remember him telling me about a teacher who was tallking about picking on him (where that is the oposite of what a teacher is supposed to do (to build up a student).

I once spent a holiday staying at a well known rabbi's house.  One of the nights the rabbi talked to us about the bullying he went through when he was young.  How one kid always worked hard to turn the other kids against him.  When he was a teenager he looked forward to getting the guy who was coming to his school from abroad as a roommate, because all of the other kids had turned against him (because of the bully).  When he saw the new kid also turned against him, he begged his parents to send him to a different school.

That's a horrible story, but there are still other details that need to be shared.  The rabbi continued, and told us how because he  left that school, the next school he went to he made a friend.  This friend helped this rabbi meet his wife (the friend's sister).  He told that because he was bullied he also became a kinder person.

Part of the message here is that there are times like when you are bullied that are hard.  But the fact is that where are a lot of valuable stones found?  In the dirt or the times in our lives that are not so great.  Sometimes you have to go through a long process before you can find those blessing in your life.

For those who are dealing with bullies here are some steps that can help you

1.From my own experience with a bully I saw HOW MUCH FRIENDS CAN BACK YOU UP AND GIVE YOU NEEDED STRENGTH (PARENTS OF ASPERGERS CHILDREN GO OUT OF YOUR WAY TO MAKE SURE YOUR CHILD HAS ONE GOOD FRIEND WHO CAN GIVE THEM SUPPORT WHEN THEY NEED IT (ONE OF THE WAYS I CAN HELP YOU (TEACHING HOW TO HELP YOUR CHILD DEVELOP AT LEAST ONE OR HOPEFULLY MANY FRIENDS)).

2.Follow some of the advice on this wiki how (I like this one because it recognizes that there are different circumstances with bullies) 
http://www.wikihow.com/Deal-With-Bullies